Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Guinness World Book of Record Holder: Nithyananda as Youngest Polytechnic Student

Boy Genius Nithyananda Attends Polytechnic at Tender Age of Twelve
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Wow, we need to thank a blogger called 'Transforming1' on November 23, 2009 from the Guruphiliac Forum who tipped us off that the polytechnic school associated with you is the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu. And, look, right there on their website:

is a picture of you, Sri Nithyananda, OK, you have to wait about a minute before the Flash animation scrolls up but, trust us, your head pops out from down below and there are these words:

"Alumini of our college is feeding noon meal to poor and needy students."

[ Then an old, but dashing low-res scanned picture of you, Sri Nithyananda, creeps up from below the surface, just like in one of those Ed Wood horror movies. ]

"-As an Alumini,Swamiji Nithyanantha has donated magnanimously
Rs.100000 (Rupees One Lakh) for Noon Meal Scheme
Each year he used todonate huge sum whole heartedly. We proudly register here that he is our Old student, did his Mechanical Engineering(1990-1993."

"He handed over the cheque to our principal in person."

Sri Nithyananda, does Rajagopal Polytechnic College offer courses on English and web site design? And, Sri Nithyananda, is that how you spell your name? Wow, Sri Nithyananda, we never guessed. We mean that you take every opportunity to brag about everything that supports your super-natural god-like-state-of-everything including getting the highest marks in the class (Formless in Form p. 29) Anyway, we know you like to brag, so we're just shocked that you passed up this opportunity to say that you were just a tender age of twelve when you attended the polytechnic school. Let's see if we have this right. You, Sri Nithyananda, were born January 1, 1978. And, the website confirms that you attended from 1990 to 1993. So, 1990 minus 1978 and we get 12-years-of-age.

Wow, Sri Nithyananda, Rajagopal Polytechnic College in Gudiyattam was nice enough to provide the information when you left the school, which was 1993. So, that means you were there for three (3) years. And, must be a proud degree holder. But, Sri Nithyananda, when we fit this into your time line, it still doesn't add up. Let's see, if you started your wandering in 1993 and got enlightenment on January 1, 2000. Why that's just six and a half years (6.5) of wandering and not the full nine (9) years of wandering you always claim. But, wait, there's more. In your book Glimpses of My Master, Nithyananda, original first edition December 2005, page 157, you, Sri Nithyananda, said that you left your parents' house in Thiruvannamalai at age 17 to start your wandering experience. How old were you, Sri Nithyananda when you 'graduated' from the polytechnic school? Let's see, 1993 minus 1978, that makes you a tender age of fifteen. So, after getting the certificate that you are a super-genius for completing the engineering program with the highest grade - a 'Distinction' from the Rajagopal Polytechnic College in Gudiyattam (The Formless in Form, p. 29), did you, Sri Nithyananda crash at your parents' pad for two years, visited graveyards, and hung out at the back of bowling alleys? When you got tired of that, did you, Sri Nithyananda, decide to start your wandering? So, this model doesn't quite make sense... but at least now we have some new 'concrete' dates.

Sri Nithyananda, when are your dedicated bloggers of the parallel universe going to answer our simple questions about your time line? It should be very easy to do. In fact, once your version from La-La Land gets posted, we will no longer be able to speculate what new fantasies will manifest themselves. So, we hate to spoil our own fun, but your information will end all of our speculation. Until then, we'll have a field day, at your expense, of course.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, what was your secret in getting accepted in the polytechnic at such a young age? Did you cover you body in holy ash so no one could tell you were just a twelve-year-old? Or did you transform into some super-hero like the time you once claimed that you became Swami Ayyappa to your teacher? (Formless in Form p. 22). Hey, Sri Nithyananda, have you ever thought about wearing a cape and some tights? And, perhaps some cute little orange boots? Sri Nithyananda, you already have that Osho logo with the swan on it. That could be the emblem you place on your chest; you would be all set. We bet the ladies would really fall for you in that get up. Anyway, these scenarios for you getting into the Rajagopal Polytechnic College in Gudiyattam are not that likely, even for an 'enlightened' healing master like you, Sri Nithyananda.

Come to think of it, it must have been a bit hard for you to have all those experiences in Thiruvannamalai while attending the polytechnic in Gudiyattam at the same time. Didn't you, Sri Nithyananda, claim to have that 360 vision at the age of twelve at Arunachala Hill in Thiruvannamalai? Were you on summer vacation at the time, for that happened in May? And, what about all those other stories with you allegedly palled around with Mataji Kuppammal and circumventing Arunachala Hill for a few months everyday, etc. And, what about those stories in high school, you, know, Senior Secondary School, Standards IX to XII? We already mentioned one of them about how your teacher became your devotee after you transformed into Lord Ayyappa. Did do an accelerated program and completed Standards IX to XII at age eleven? Wow, that would be enlightening. Do you have any proof of this? Why didn't you mention this wonderful achievement before? Ah, we get it, Sri Nithyananda, you're just one of those modest types.

So, Sri Nithyananda, how did you get all of these experiences at age twelve? Did you commute from and hurried back to have all of those experience? "Aghhhhh", Sri Nithyananda, our Gruntanese translator can't figure out if you mean 'yes' or 'no'. Anyway, we just checked on Google Maps.

Google Map from Thiruvannamalai to Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu

And, Google Maps says that it takes 1 hour and 50 minutes in optimal conditions to commute from Thiruvannamalai to Gudiyattam. Now if you are taking public transportation, then that would increase your commute by at least 30 minutes. (Perhaps as much as an hour and a half, but we'll give Sri Nithyananda a break.) If you had to walk to the bus station from your house in Thiruvannamalai, that adds on at least another 15 minutes (minimum) and probably the same with getting to the polytechnic in Gudiyattam. Add the wait time for a bus and your looking at least two and a half hours minimum from door to door, that would mean five hours every day, but most likely even more. Wow, Sri Nithyananda, no wonder you never had time to study.

So, Sri Nithyananda, we hate to call you on these inconvenient discrepancies about all these confusing dates, but we would like to perhaps offer an explanation to why these dates just don't match. We already know, that you, Sri Nithyananda, really have a thing about looking youthful, you know, your appearance and image. So, we imagine that the temptation to fudge it a bit is always there. Now, we have seen a government issued documentation that really states that your birth day is on March 13, 1977. Wow, that's nine months before you said that you 'descended' down to this planet, but we know that in India, the date of birth records are not always so exact, and that that difference alone wouldn't raise too many eye brows in the Indian legal system.

If you want to cheat on a handwritten document and fudge it a bit, probably the easiest number to 'transform' into another number would be the number '2'. With a similar pen stroke and a slash in the middle, you can make a '2' into a '7'. Let's, Sri Nithyananda, do an academic experiment. Let's say you were born in 1972 and changed the 2 into a 7, so you can claim that you were born in 1977. Is this what happened? So, let's go back and see if you were born on 1972, does this fit the evidence, Sri Nithyananda? Hey, that works, you would then be 18 when you entered the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu, and attended your engineering program. But, wait, if you stayed until 1993, then that would have made you 21 when you started your wandering. So, we imagine that perhaps shortly after attending the Engineering Program, that you got bored and flunked out. Maybe it was an all-boys school back then, so the extracurricular activities were a bit limited in scope. After disappointing everyone, then it made sense for you, Sri Nithyananda, to leave home wandering rather than be a slacker at the graveyard. Of course that meant that you were at least 18 or maybe even 19 when you left home, but at least you could have gotten your 9.5 years of wandering in before you experienced your alleged 'ultimate' experience of 'enlightenment' on January 1, 2000. If that revised date of 1972 held true, Sri Nithyananda, then that would make you now 37-years-of-age, almost 38. That might explain that clump of gray hairs you had a few years back and why you now look so middle aged these days.

Now, admittedly, we don't have any hard proof of this theory, but we do see the dates you allegedly attended at the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu, and saw your copy of the government documentation that had your 'other' date of birth on it. So, that means in order to keep this legend up, the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam had to be a willing partner to make sure that you were 'credited' and a 'graduate'. Are there any clues to what might motivate them to do such an act of educational transgression? Oh, back to Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam website:

we see right there that it said that you helped "feeding noon meal to poor and needy students." and that you, Sri Nithyananda "handed over the cheque to our principal in person." For the amount of "Rs.100,000 (Rupees One Lakh)." This comes out to a little over two thousand US dollars. (On December 7, 2009 that as $2,145.69. Why that wasn't very much, Sri Nithyananda, in exchange for keeping your myth alive. Why that's not even half of what your charge for the 'Inner Awakening' program. Did you have a more private 'under the table' ceremony during your visit? We suppose that the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam did get to place your picture, Sri Nithyananda, on their website, so now it is a famous 'in demand' place that young people can attend and feel your energy on perhaps one of the chairs there. We're sure that you will draw in new recruits like hotcakes, there, Sri Nithyananda, unless of course, you go to jail sometime for all of your crimes, then we imagine that the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, probably will remove your picture from their website.

Once again, we do not have any hard proof of any of these allegations, but obviously something fishy is happening here. So, for all of you investigative journalists, you might want to pay a visit to the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, and see the poor students being feed their noontime meal. If nothing is happening, then we're sure you will hear something like "Eka Dasi" (a traditional fasting day) or the chef is sick. If you're persistent enough and make an appointment, then the chances are high you will be treated to watch all the staff eat a meal and hear complaints about the low pay of working at a polytechnic. Why you are there, you might want to check the records of Sri Nithyananda, then probably known as Rajasekaren, and see exactly how old this boy genius was when he attended the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, for his engineering certificate. Sri Nithyananda just might have been a little bit older than twelve. There's only one way to find out.

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